Chaos Theory
by ThePhantomScribe
Summary: In a show where 5 seasons have passed and writers, readers, watchers, and maybe plot points have been lost... what would happen if one were to introduce a little, *Chaos*? Questionably x-over-ish, questionably legal, questionably sane. "And there are boobies!" ...Shut up, Wade. Parallel universe to [Fulcrum] fic.
1. Chapter 1

**_Chaos Theory_**

* * *

"What's happening?"

"I'm not sure. How are you feeling?"

Weiss sits up, her mind reeling from the flowing energy, both hers and foreign, as she senses a strange shift in her abilities. Looking at her hand, she flexes it open and closed with the mixes of aura flowing through it, for almost a second feeling something in her perception shift as she gazes at the energy…

Its nature isn't natural, almost a shift in reality itself as it almost looks like with the aid of Jaune's aura she can gaze around, or _through_ , her limb… somehow.

But what's undeniable is the immense energy welling up inside her, sharpening her senses well beyond the norm and impelling her to grasp every minute detail of the situation around her.

"I am making _humanity_ _pay_ _ **for what they've done!**_ "

Did no one else hear that? Quickly looking around and almost forgetting the apprehensive Arc, Weiss doesn't see where the voice comes from within the grand hall but simultaneously senses the airships and White Fang outside… despite the wall between them.

Weiss quickly shakes her head and lets whatever energy is amplifying her aura do its job before glancing back up at her unexpected savior with a smirk, "Better. _Much_ better. Keep it up."

A small chuckle from the knight, "You got it."

As Jaune closes his eyes to finish his work, Weiss takes advantage of the slight pause in the room due to the arrival of what she's now sure are the airships to make sure she was seeing correctly… and sure enough, her sight and hearing are augmented to the point of not only hearing around the grand hall, but somehow "seeing" as well, as if her perception was overcoming the fabric of space at that moment.

In fact, as she "looked" more closely to see a familiar figure with a familiar red katana rush a MUCH more familiar figure without success, she could almost swear that was-

"KILL THEM!"

Weiss snaps her head back up at Jaune, calling him out of his aural concentration.

"Jaune, we need to move, there's no more time!"

With a silent nod, the Arc helps her to her feet until she's sure she can stand, and managing to scamper over on her own to the fore of the central platform before their opponents have fully recovered, Weiss focuses her sight on the burly fighter who'd managed so much damage against them.

"He's going down _first_."

"Uh… Weiss…?" Jaune begins, his words lost on the scowling heiress as she gets down to one knee and creates a summoning glyph… except this one is unlike the others.

He'd seen her prior glyphs, clean, clear, pristine white… but this one is larger, somehow darker, its very existence and presence causing every one present in the hall to look over, locked in place by inexplicable fear by the aural construct that seems so intense, it almost looks like it's shimmering – or shivering – with multiple mirror images of it shifting slightly up and down around the heiress with an audible hum.

The image in her mind was clear at first as well… simply the summoning of an aural copy of a Queen Lancer grimm… but somehow the idea itself warps like the original perception of her hand, the image of a Grimm being lost in her mind and the concept of the Lancer remaining and shifting into something else entirely…

"Guh… nn… _nnnyyaaaargh!_ "

Outside the grand hall, Hazel grimaces, observing the shifting tide of the situation as a Monkey faunus wielding gun-chucks engages a number of the White Fang while the rest try to fire at the newly arrived Mistralian airships. Hazel is about to step forward and enter the fray then a thundering boom from behind him catches his attention…

…followed by the sickening squelch of metal piercing his side.

With the tip of a spear-like weapon protruding from him, Hazel braces himself with the expectation of being pulled backwards when the resistance suddenly snaps, triggering a second explosion from the tip of the spear that blows him back several meters. Groaning from the disorientation, Hazel finds himself looking up from the ground several yards away between the fighting outside and the grand hall with some surprise that the weapon hadn't blown a chunk off his flesh. Thanking the fire and shock dust within his system for providing resistance to the heat and impact respectively, he stands slowly but finds himself in consternation when he pulls his hand back to find a crimson red insignia on the back of his palm.

"What in the…"

* * *

"What in the…"

Jaune can say no more, gawking at the young woman in front of him as she drops her arm… an arm with a barrel that just fired arguably the loudest spear he'd ever heard. Her attire – including the white and blue winged insignia on her back – is unlike any hunter he's ever seen, the two similar barrels housing some sort of hook each strapped to her hip unlike any weapon he's ever heard of.

She turns back from within the nearly crackling glyph as it begins to rotate uncontrollably, heedless of the equally dumbfounded glares directed at her from within the room as she simply glances between the hand of the knight and the kneeling heiress before her as she remains somehow locked in the summoning trance of the unnatural glyph before directing her attention to the knight.

"My name is Mikasa Ackermann. Which one of you is my Master?"

"…WHAT."

And at that moment, Weiss cries out as the furiously rotating glyph underneath her and the mystery woman shatters into pieces, bolts of light shooting around the room, through her friends, through the walls, through the floor, and with wide eyes clasps a hand to her racing heart as she gasps out to the young woman, " _You…!_ "

The young woman merely regards the heiress for a moment before reaching a sort of understanding and kneeling down to Weiss' level and placing a hand on her shoulder, "Master… Schnee. I've temporarily neutralized the biggest threat to your well-being. Unfortunately, it seems your summoning circle was supercharged and splintered into others with enough energy to bind themselves to nearby candidates with enough power to be suitable Masters."

"Not a single word you just said made any sense," a bewildered Jaune drawls quietly, but almost as if being ignored completely is only met with a glance by Mikasa in his direction which he slowly realizes is actually directed to someone standing _beside_ him.

"…like that one..."

" _Gyah!_ "

Jaune exclaims, the fright of seeing a similarly aged young man with auburn hair soundlessly appearing at his side causing him to hop back, "W-Wait, who are you!?"

"My name is Emiya, Shirou," the young man replies, glancing around the room with a mildly concerned look on his face, "And… we're not exactly in Japan anymore, are we…."

Mikasa merely turns her gaze back at the heiress in front of her, raising her brows in a silent pointed confirmation of her previous words as she helps her up before turning a second pointed gaze towards the now eerily silent area outside the grand hall.

"Or…"

 _ **RAAAAWWWR!**_

Outside the grand hall, everyone's stunned gaze is locked on the large creature with the build of the boniest Ursa ever recorded as it ominously lumbers over to Hazel's side. Easily standing about a meter above him, Hazel sizes up the creature beside him with the hide – no, carapace – of an ancient Grimm before it turns its blazing red eyes, a strange mix of color that Hazel realizes resembles the mix of gold and red Dust flowing through his own body, towards him.

" **YoU… MasTer… ME… DOOMsday."**

The corner of Hazel's lip turns up into a dark smirk, his first order leaving his lips as a small section of the crimson insignia on the back of his hand fades into gray.

"Kill everything that moves."

* * *

In the grand cavern below the grand hall, ice is heard cracking as Cinder slowly approaches her latest prey.

"So I will _take_ … what is _mine_ …"

Vernal finally stops struggling against the Grimm claws buried deep within her abdomen, but her smirk dies down she realizes something is wrong and turns to face Raven, now freed from her icy prison.

"What is this? Where's the power!?"

"You won't find it, because Vernal _isn't_ the Spring Maiden," the incensed swordswoman replies, taking off her mask and about to open her mouth to continue when-

"RAVEN IS, YA DIPSHITE!"

The two women's eyes trailing flame-like energy, they both stand armed and Cinder scowls at the strange costumed man who calmly saunters up to them from behind Raven.

"Oh my bad, was that your line?" he continues, his white eyes widening on his mask as he pulls out one of the two katanas slung across his back and uses it as a cane to lean on beside the increasingly agitated Raven, "I suck at this multiple protagonist thing, _especially_ crossovers – _L, O, L!_ That's why I just wing it! Oh hey there's a dead girl here, were you two in the middle of something?"

"Who…" Raven begins, her own scowl deepening as the grip around her blade's hilt tightens, " _the hell are_ _ **you**_ _supposed to be!?_ "

"Ouch, a Master can't even recognize her own Servant?" the man continues easily, playfully holding a hand to his chest in mock pain which almost gets Raven's glare to falter a bit as she notes that no one in her clan is idiotic enough to wear that full-body red and black spandex ensemble (not even Qrow at his drunkest), "Look, you really don't even gotta worry about it Angry Bird, I'm only gonna be around for a couple chapters anyway! Honestly, I'm still all atingle that you're _actually_ the Spring Maiden; Rooster Teeth really played that one close to the chest, I mean, the show was losing momentum at this point but this little tidbit really- _whoa!_ "

Suddenly flicking his free hand up to catch the fearsome Grimm claw just inches from his face without flinching with speed that even leaves Raven impressed, a white eye widens slightly in Cinder's direction with a raised brow beneath the mask before the man merely tilts his head around the deadly appendage to glance along the stretched limb to its wielder.

"Ooookay, hot villain with stretchy killer monster arm. I am officially both frightened and slightly aroused."

" _Shut up already!_ " an exasperated Cinder cries out, "Either get to the point or _get out of my way!_ "

" _No_ can do on the second option, Elastagirl!" he calls out before letting go of the claw that whips back to its owner and facing Raven while pulling out a firearm, "Okay, I'll cut to the chase. I got called out from the middle of shooting my third movie to help you break some stuff; last name's Pool, first name Dead. Or as they say in Spanish, _La Piscina Muertaaaaaa_ …."

The pause for dramatic effect quickly withering into an awkward silence due to Raven's fierce deadpan at the costumed newcomer, his eyes only tilt up in an apparently cheery expression.

"Alll _right_ , ya got me! No one calls me that. And in case you or any of these Marvel-challenged readers haven't figured it out yet, ya can call me _Deadpool!_ "

And with that, he promptly raises his pistol – which to Raven's admittedly slight stupefaction actually _doesn't_ come with some sort of blade attached – and fires two flaming arrows out of the air that were hurtling towards them without even taking his gaze off of his Master.

"So as Sir Phanty just said, you're my _Master_ and I'm your _Servant_ ," Deadpool reiterates again (annoyingly), "So tell ya what. Let's you and me take care of the One-eyed Wonder with the gangly arm and we can go back to your place and make kinky bondage love with you wearing nothing but _that_ mask and _those_ boots, dealio?"

Raven's glare cracks with a slight twitch, her teeth grinding as she merely turns to face Cinder with a grunt and a murky stew of mixed emotions underneath… she would've outright denied the latter part, but in the mix of having an unexpected ally against the veritable threat of the Grimm-like Fall Maiden, punching him in the face, stabbing him in the face, shooting him in the face- "Dude. Really?"

Shut up.

…and a host of other deeper, more southern emotions -" _cough_ , in the _nether regions_ "- can't quite bring herself to say anything at the moment.

On the other hand, Cinder's glare at the newcomer is outright _murderous_ , the idea of some crackpot lunatic delaying her acquisition of the power that was _rightly hers_ leaving her with the singular most potent intent to zap him in the face when-

 _ **KRkRrRZzZTZZztTTZAAAP!**_

"Yipes!"

Massive twin bolts of electricity suddenly converging on Deadpool, Raven twitches her head around to see he's been blasted clear across the platform back to the elevator before both she and the astonished enchantress turn to the black-hooded _second_ newcomer who appears at her side.

" _Powerful_ Is The Killing Intent Within You… _Goooooooood_ ~" the figure begins slowly with a deep voice seemingly warped by some sempiternal energy, every word pronounced with chilling correctness which seems to complement Cinder's equally eloquent charmingly-spoken style perfectly, "Let Us Demonstrate To These Feeble Opponents Their Utter Lack Of Hope Against The _Power_ Of The _Dark Side_!"

"Oof… that's gonna leave a _special_ kind of hangover in the morning," a charred and smoky Deadpool slurs as he slowly stumbles back to Raven's side before vigorously shaking his head out of his stupor with a sound not unlike a dog shaking off water, "Y'know, I'm kinda not sure why you two even need us in the first place – ya both already have the power level of Servants anywa- holy giblets, that's a Sith Lord. _Sidious?_ "

Awkwardly going stiff at the sight of the hooded figure as its scarred lips contort into an evil grin behind its hood, Deadpool merely looks up towards the top of the cave and shouts to no one in particular.

" _HOW MANY CROSSOVERS ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE?!_ "

I'm back, baby. So I'll make as many as I damn well please.

 _ **To BE CONTINUED…**_

* * *

 **A/N:** So. Looking like a three-shot based solely on that Vault of Spring Maiden episode arc.

And yes, hi. There's a lot to explain but I'm barely getting back into the swing of things and can't manage spending hours on explaining several mini-stories of what happened the past 2 years to a few dozen people, at least not quite yet. So I've posted a neat little abridged version on another fic in my profile.

Speaking of which, this fic is more like the spiritual brother of Fulcrum (yes, _that_ Fulcrum, hint hint), so while that fic will eventually be continued, maybe, this one is more like a warm up to getting back into my mains in the meantime.

So to answer two likely very popular questions upon your reaching this point:

 **Will I be regularly posting after this?** Not really, can't make any promises while I'm recovering my writing muses back to health. But the messages I've left elsewhere do point to certain incoming things.

 **Will this fic be labeled a x-over?** Sure, if anyone can possibly explain how to take several fandoms and categorize a fic accordingly on this site; if not, then limiting the scope of this crack-shotty work to just _two_ fandoms is just. Not. Right. And just cuz there isn't an option to toss in multiple fandoms into one story doesn't mean I can't. It's 2018, people.

Gotta let a recovering writer have some fun, eh? :D

I'll do my best to get back to PMs and reviews, but I'm still stuck in the history dating back to 2016 so bear with me… this could take a while. In the meantime, peace out…

 _ **And Happy Reading!**_


	2. Hi Ma! Wade, don't hijack chapter titles

**_"The Second of Chapters"_**

* * *

 **"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**

"It was the bellow of the beast, a mighty DC Universe beast, tearing through the area like a baggy-eyed scrublord tearing through their mothers purse for cash to fund their next fix. Yes, as tall as a 9' 10" tree and a vocabulary as bad as, like, whatever, it was clear that someone was about to get kabobbed, just like Superman in that last movie (spoiler alert, _he_ _comes back to life_ ). Meanwhile, downstairs, the plot moves forward as the two maidens face each other intently!"

"The stares are intense, the one with the telescoping red katana - a good choice, might I add - with eyes like two red circles with big black dots in the center, just staring at the other maiden whose idiot Servant has just appeared. Oumdamn Sith, man. So obviously, the irony doesn't escape the one with the gangly Grimm arm as she laughs. A deep, throaty, genuine laugh... like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up."

Literally _the_ worst group of analogies I've ever read.

And stop using feet for measurement, I was using the metric system last chapter. It'll confuse the readers.

"Hey. I just made a fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break, don't think I can't 16-wall smash my way over there where you're typing!"

That doesn't even... just get back to what you were doing.

With the situation having become more complicated, the two new Masters regard each other intently with the aim of using their new allies to the full; however, Raven's scowl merely deepens as she realizes that with the unnatural energy surrounding these two so-called Servants, gauging an effective strategy would be-

" _Heeeere_ we go, once sec," Deadpool cuts in, gingerly taking each of the swordswoman's shoulders in each hand and gently scooting her a few feet to the left as she glares at him with a fierce gaze... until she's standing in front of the hooded Servant and he is standing in front of Cinder across the cavern.

"Easy peasy! Cinder's Caster has some long range attacks, naturally stronger against my Servant Class! So I _obvi_ gotta leave you to that guy - telekinesis, lightning, might have a lightsaber hidden somewhere - you know, classic George Lucas stuff. _I'll_ take whatsherface here; no muss, no fuss!"

Resisting the urge to pinch her nose in distaste at this Servant's antics and impossible references, Raven merely huffs out to the side as he readies his katanas against the two grinning adversaries before them, "And what would _your_ class be?"

Deadpool briefly spares his master a cheery reply before dashing forward at Cinder and her newly created dual fire swords.

"Assassin! _Duh_."

* * *

"So you're telling me that Weiss' summoning glyph was so strong that it broke through to another _dimension!?_ " Jaune practically cries out at the young woman, who is clearly unfazed by the battle going on between the other students against Mercury, Emerald, and Lionheart across the newly created pile of rubble between them.

" _Several_ , it seems," Shirou answers from beside him, causing him to jump a bit again in fright before they all crouch a little lower with the nearby explosion behind their temporary refuge, "Master, I understand that this situation may be stressful. However, you mustn't permit yourself to become overwhelmed... unfortunately, even this indoor battle is the least of our worries. That Berserker outside is unlike anything I've ever seen before, its strength and mana output easily surpassing that of Hercules! We will need your orders."

With another explosion and the tell-tale patter of Crescent Rose's gunfire momentarily bringing her to, Weiss slowly glances up at the young woman crouched over her who is intently analyzing the beast outside as it brings down another airship despite taking heavy gunfire, soon capturing her attention and bringing it back to the group with a brief smile of gratitude.

"Yes, that beast is certainly a threat, with defenses even well above that of the Armored Titan," Mikasa informs the group, briefly glancing at the lance-like spear bolted to her other arm, "My swords are unlikely to cause it any substantial damage, and even the first half of my Thunder Spear noble phantasm was not enough to eliminate the Berserker's Master, no doubt due to the state of mine."

"Well, if we can get Weiss back up to full Aura, would it?" Jaune asks in a rush with the realization that using a summoning glyph so strong must've sapped her Aura once more, the apprehension still high in his voice and not helped by the one-shoulder shrug the young woman gives in reply.

"Possibly, if it can pierce the beast's carapace, then there is a chance."

"Then we'll have to take our chances!" Jaune replies with a growing mix of anger and resolution as he hears Ruby crying out orders with a crack in her voice in the distance before screwing his eyes shut in thought, "Think, Jaune... _think!_ "

"Master, we are running out of-"

" _I know!_ " Jaune suddenly cries out, as much to himself as to Shirou before refocusing on Mikasa, "Are you able to fight at a distance from Weiss?"

A brief nod.

"You mentioned aiming for the Berserker's Master earlier, what good was that supposed to do if the Servant is the bigger threat?"

Realization dawning on Shirou, he quickly fills in, "Of course, the Master passively supplies mana to his or her Servant - or _aura_ , as you put it - and with the exception of one or two classes, eliminating the Master will terminate the Servant's supply of lifeforce-"

"Pretty much killing it!" Jaune finishes with a hopeful excitement welling up within before turning back to the young woman, "Mikasa, engage the Master outside and avoid that big thing at all costs while I try and bring your Mas- ugh, _Weiss_ , back up to fighting shape!"

"Understood."

"But how will she escape to the outer area through the battle going on insi-?" Shirou begins with slight hesitation before being interrupted by the mechanical whirr of the machinery at her hips that precede the loud expulsion of a pair of grappling hooks that pull her up and out of the great hall at an incredible speed. Gaping a bit as Mikasa quickly enters the fray outside by essentially using alternating shots of the grappling hooks to swing around and under the buildings and debris outside towards her target, he merely mumbles the rest of his thoughts while Jaune already begins the aura amplification process on the heiress once more, "...Fascinating."

Outside, however, the battle has become much more dismal. With casualties threatening to rise before the onslaught of the terrifying Berserker, Mikasa quickly finds its master engaged by a young woman with... cat ears?... along with a strange sort of Monkey Man across the courtyard.

Clipping her hilt handle to a fresh katana-like blade stashed in her sheath nestled next to one of her grappling hooks as she soars through the air, she lands next to the pair as the hilt secures the blade in place before unsheathing the sword at the crystal-laden Master.

"Uh... who the heck are you!?" Sun cries out, as much an exclamation as a question while Hazel sizes up his strange new opponent.

"Both of you fall back immediately, leave this one to me," Mikasa replies, her tone steely despite the growing concern at what she immediately realizes is the intense energy coming off of the Master's body which she surmises are fueled by the crystallized mana stabbed into his arms, "Facing him at his strength level is like engaging a miniaturized Titan."

"..."

"..."

She briefly turns to give the momentarily confused teens a small smirk, " _My specialty_."

" _YAHHHHH!_ " Hazel cries out, his voice warped by Semblance and Dust as he charges the young woman with incredible speed. Shooting out a grappling hook to the side to pull herself away in a machine-aided sidestep, Mikasa dodges the two-fisted slam which leaves considerable amounts of fractures on the ground before turning her attention to the pair of fighters a final time.

"GO! Evacuate as many citizens and injured as you can!"

And with that, Blake and Sun trade a glance to the massacre behind them and rushed nod before finally falling back, the young woman relieved to be able to place her undivided attention on this foe.

" _Reducing your numbers against me? Not very wise, girl_ ," Hazel grunts as he stands straight and cracking his neck briefly to each side before turning to face her, " _How pathetic. Another one of Ozpin's children sent to throw their lives away in a fight to the death?_ "

A steadying of her stance with both hands on the hilt of her sword as she analyzes the walls and tall trees surrounding their alcove.

"Not quite."

 ** _THWACK! shingggTHWACKTHWAK! shinggshinggTHWAK!_**

And with a flurry of grappling hook shots at the surrounding objects alternating with incredibly powerful swordstrikes on the target at a speed that almost mimics the subsequent shots of gunfire, the young woman's gear-powered onslaught leaves the man holding his large arms up in defense against them, an incensed growl escaping him as she finally lands and he realizes that her strikes have drawn copious amounts of blood.

" _You're not like the others... you're like Doomsday._ "

"That would be correct," Mikasa replies as she casually declips the dulled blade from her hilt one-handedly and inserts it into her sheath to draw out a fresh blade, "And as its Master, you must therefore be eliminated to protect the wellbeing of _my_ Master, as well as this establishment."

But hiding a small smirk upon realizing that she hadn't noticed him learning her movement patterns, Hazel grunts in anticipation as her right hook fires first at a half-demolished wall to his left and she speedily begins approaching him through the air with a yell - just as he expected.

" _Heh. Not quite_."

 ** _THWOCK-skRrrRSh!_**

Having anticipated the direction of attack, Hazel takes Mikasa wholly by surprise with a impossibly fast reverse hook kick, the speed of which augmented by the spin behind it launching her clear across the alcove... and impaling her on one of the exposed iron bars of rebar jutting out of the wall. Her breath hitching and eyes going wide as she practically internalizes the anguished yell of her Master from inside the building that only she can hear, Mikasa's hands grip the rebar sticking out of her abdomen with renewed fury driving her into action and weakly try to pull her off before too much Aura leaks out.

Hazel's eyes narrow as his adversay falls onto the pavement on her hands and kness, a sneer appearing on his lips as she impossibly begins to stand with the glowing blue-white hole in her abdomen slowly coming shut.

" _You've either got some serious guts, or just aren't happy dying once tonight_."

"Well of course I have Guts," Mikasa explains coolly, stalling for time in order to regain an acceptable amount of strength which no doubt has been sapped from her recovering Master to heal herself, "As I was in life, I'd never have left my brothers in arms to be eaten alive by the Titans as long as I drew breath. And as a Lancer, Guts and Battle Continuation are simply skills I was naturally paired with to suit my Master's needs."

His sneer deepening into a snarl, Hazel begins advancing towards the unfazed young woman with overwhelming killing intent, " _I don't know **what** you are. But I'm **done** with you, **and it's time you realized you're done too!**_ "

Taking a relieved breath at her metaphysical body's indication of replenishment of both herself and her Master, Mikasa grins for the first time.

"Funny. I was about to say the same thing."

 _ **THWACKTHWACK-POW!**_

Shooting both grappling hooks into Hazel, the young woman pulls him towards her at high speed before delivering a Servant-enhanced straight kick with the power of a Nora-charged hammer that sends him flying dozens of feet across the courtyard and over the fighting and back into the great hall.

Some distance away, Blake watches the direction of Hazel's trajectory as she realizes it coincides with the direction of the oh too familiar scream she just heard.

"Sun, you need to help the others - civilians, White Fang, it doesn't matter; that thing back there is pulverizing everything it sees!"

"But, Blake! That guy flying over us just now, if you find him and he's not down for the count, you'll-"

"Be _fine_ ," the catgirl interrupts quickly, finally slowing down to a halt to place a hand on her caring companion's shoulder, "If I'm right about what I think is behind those walls, I'll manage."

A brief pause before the Faunus nods and makes to turn and head back to the fighting in the courtyard.

"Be careful, Sun."

" _Heh_ , no promises."

Shaking her head at him with a small smile as the boy quickly puts distance in between the two, the warmth in Blake's heart quickly runs cold when she turns and finds the katana leveled at her throat.

"I'm going to make you regret ever coming back..."

With the behemoth behind them having upset the advantage Blake had been so sure to have upon initially arriving at Haven to face the very man - no, _monster_ \- standing before her, panic rises within her to the point where only one word escapes her tightened throat.

"... _Adam-!_ "

* * *

"...Blake?"

Yang's slight distraction nearly costs her, barely avoiding another of Mercury's incessant kicks but returned with an angrily delivered counter that pushes him back and lets the fatigued brawler get back to back with her younger sister. Having already had her plan of following Cinder and Raven into the chamber below go to waste, her frustration is certainly not going down any time soon.

"Jeez these guys just don't _quit!_ What's taking Jaune and them so long back there!?"

"I don't know!" Ruby cries out as she glances back at Nora behind them tending to an exhausted Ren who's coughing haggardly with exertion... only for matters to get even worse when Hazel suddenly barrels through the wall to land behind Emerald and Lionheart, and actually manages to begin standing _again_ , "JAUNE!"

"I know!" the knight calls back some distance away from behind their shelter, finally finished with his work and thankful for the precious few minutes he'd received as reprieve to do it, "Weiss, do you think you'll be okay here until you're all set?"

Facing up to give him a small thankful smile for saving her _twice_ in that day already, Weiss merely nods her head before eking out with growing strength, "Y-Yea.. _ahem_. Yes."

Without another word, Jaune returns the smile before hopping over the rubble with his Servant to approach the enemies from behind. Undoubtedly, Hazel notices this, cracking his knuckles and neck as he readies to face them, leaving Mercury and Emerald to face the sisters before them.

"Uh, Shirou, right?" Jaune begins with a slight waver in his voice that belies his internal facepalm at missing such an important detail, "You're not armed."

"I'm aware."

"... _Ugh_..."

" _Heh_ ," Mercury chides derisively as he glances back at the two kids apparently facing a grim matchup with Hazel before turning his attention to Yang, "Looks like your reinforcements have some pretty bad timing, blondie. So back to that _apology_ you owe me..."

But instead of firing back a retort or a fist, Yang whips her head to the side upon hearing another unmistakable yelp of pain and find none other than her old partner being pushed back by Adam just outside the grand hall. Such is the sensation of her sinking stomach that the brawler barely hears the muted warning from her younger sister, nor the sounds of bullets and greaves being fired...

And barely even the boot that smashed the side of her face and floors her in a split second.

"Well. I mean, it's a lot more fun when you at least _try_ to add some useless banter to the mix," Mercury continues as he stands over the brawler while Ruby fiercely tries to hold back Emerald from their friends, but cocks his head as he sees Yang weakly reach out her human arm towards what he then realizes is Blake getting backhanded to the floor as well by Adam outside.

" _N-No_..." a tear rolling down her cheek, she watches helplessly as Adam brandishes his sword over the ravenette, " _Don't_... _p-please_..."

Few times in her life had Yang had a singular, all-encapsulating wish that suddenly held her entire form like a burning vice. But at that moment, inexplicably, it took hold.

A fire she'd thought long gone, the brawler's eyes go back to red, pure utter rage discarding even the realization of the strange glowing crimson markings on the back of her human hand showing through the holes in her tattered glove as she cries out with a strength that causes a small section of the red, robotic face they form to go gray.

" _ **DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!**_ "

 _ **W-W-WROOONNG EE-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERRRRWRAK!**_

Unimaginably, unbelievably, as if in response to the plea, strange cybernetic noises fill the area preceding the most intricate sounds of mecha-shifting the brawler had ever heard before a large metallic hulk literally _swats_ the White Fang leader back into the main courtyard. And with the same motion picking up the fallen catgirl and placing her in its torso, it literally _drives_ into the grand hall while defensively mecha-shifting around her to guard from the plentiful stray bullets hitting it... which reveals it to be none other than-

" _B-Bumblebee!?_ "

Ruby's shrill cry rings out in the grand hall that is once again stunned into silence while Yang gets back up and what is indeed her motorcycle deposits a groaning Blake by Ren before transforming back into a big, yellow, robot.

A big, yellow, robot that promptly gives a gleeful thumbs up and claps in self praise at its apparent successful rescue before voices come out of its radio - apparently a recording of a talk show host preceded by a soundbite from one of Destiny's Child's hit singles.

 _'Weeeee have a winner, Johnny!' 'Say my name, say my name~'_

A clearly miffed Mercury growls at the unbelievable turn of events before throwing his arms up at the Mistralian Headmaster he spots escaping through a nearby door - though strangely without his weapon, "You've _gotta_ be kidding me..."

"Master-"

"I _know_ ," Jaune replies quickly, already on the same wavelength as his Servant and taking advantage of Hazel's momentary distraction before directing himself at his fellow blonde, "Yang. There are people outside in serious danger. Giant robot."

He points at Bumblebee before pointing at the beast wreaking havoc outside to the further horror of the students inside.

"Giant monster. _Make it stop_."

However, the robot merely points between itself and Yang several times emphatically, somehow going from a recorded rebuttal from Weiss, to Michael Caine's Alfred from Batman, to lyrics from Elvis, and finally to an army sergeant from who knows where.

' _B-B-B-B-But!' 'Master...' 'See see, **Rider** ' '-NEVER leaves a man behind!'_

Yang simply points at the Berserker outside, a second section of the crimson markings on the back of her hand going grey as she does so.

"Then if you wanna protect me, sic _that_. We got it in here."

At that, only a momentary pause to gauge its admittedly dangerous opponent outdoors precedes two halves of a yellow face mask that falls over Bublebee's face with a loud clank before replying with an Ace Ventura soundbite followed by a throaty Vin Diesel reprisal from the Iron Giant.

 _'Allllllllrighty, then!' 'I go. You stay. No following...'_

Watching the robot charge out of the grand hall with its arm somehow mecha-shifting into an enormous energy cannon, Emerald squares her stance with a scoff at the sisters in front of her.

"Sending away your only hope of survival. _Feh_. Your funeral."

* * *

 _Meanwhile..._

"LAAAAA LAAAAAA~ LAA-LAA-LAA-LAAAAAA~"

" _Stop! Humming that already!_ " Cinder shrieks with pure fury as another pair of fire swords shatter at the Assassin's impossibly sharp pair of katanas, the two leaping back and forth over gigantic boulders that Sidious keeps Force pulling off the cavern walls to throw at Raven.

"And risk ruining the Duel of Fates mood music!? _No way!_ " Deadpool replies before pointing up at the ceiling, " _Hit it, Maestro!_ "

Ugh...

And with the iconic sci-fi franchise piece playing in the background, Sidious can be heard cackling loudly as he hurtles yet another stalactite at the Spring Maiden before she finally reaches her limit and cries out with the Maiden fire returning to her eyes.

"That's _it!_ **_I've had it with these tropes!_** "

Levitating with fierce spring winds coalescing around her outstretched hands to become a massive ice sword, the background music only seems to get even louder as Sidious grins and activates his dreaded red lightsaber before they both dash at each other with incredible- "Hell, that actually makes for a pretty good scene. We should get Nugi or Kegi to draw that up as cover ar- _ **GYAK!?**_ "

His distraction just to _interrupt the narrator_ _clearly_ costing him, Deadpool quickly glances back at the enchantress standing between him and the large golden door holding a fiery version of Raven's Maiden Sword before holding up his right arm to his face... now handless.

"Dammit. That was my winkie's favorite hand. Touché, Scribe. _Touché_."

Cinder, however, cackles maniacally - not unlike her Servant - at her opponent's plight as he bends down to pick up his dismembered limb... only to be momentarily surprised when she hears a strange ringtone emanating from his pocket.

"Oh? Hold on, I gotta take this."

Tucking his severed hand next to its stump under his other arm as he flips open his phone with his free hand, Deadpool merely strolls around in a small circle while Cinder stares in apparent stupefaction. Out of respect to the phone conversation, the epic music in the background is also (finally) muted.

"Hi- oh, hey! Can you hear me now? _Good!_ Yeah, cross-dimensional network coverage- Yeah, _neato!_ Am I right!? N.. No no, no Stan Lee, no need to involve Mark Ruffalo in this, we got Doomsday already apparently- Yeah it's a DC crossover too, _lame as a duck!_ ... No, that wasn't a euphenism to avoid dropping an F-bomb in a T-rated fanfic... And no, not the _metaphorical_ lame duck, either, but a _real_ duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something."

 _'...'_

"N-No... nor Wonder Wo-actually, wait. If you wanna give Gal Gadot my number, yeah, it's 555- _I_ , _O_ , _U_... **_A bullet to the face!_** "

 ** _BLAM BLAM!_**

Crying out in pain, Cinder clutches her Grimm arm that drops the shattered sword that was broken by the second bullet, directing an incredulous glare at the Servant who'd just shot her using his supposedly severed hand.

"Ahah! The _Taking-a-fake-call-while-secretly-healing-my-hand Trick_ so it can shoot you in the... eh, wait I missed?" he mumbles before noticing his firing hand is still hanging a little low on its stump by a few loose tendons, "Ah. Well at least I get to steal another of Raven's lines."

And pointing emphatically at Cinder in a way that would've looked heroic were it not for the way it makes his loose hand wobble about unnaturally, Deadpool exclaims, " _Aura can't protect your arm, poorly-written villain, for it is Grimm!_ "

Cinder growls, about to materialize another sword when the pair are nearly blinded by a flash of light behind them.

 _ **ZzzzZZTzzttTRRRrrAAAK! -"AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"**_

...followed by the resounding crack of Raven's body being slammed against the golden door by the force of thousands of volts of electricity.

" _FOOL!_ You Believed Your Meager Excuse For _Swordsmanship_ Could _Stand_ Against The _Cornerstone_ Of _The First Galactic Empire!?_ _Against Darth Sidious, **a Sith Lord!?**_ "

"...jeez this guy is intense..."

"Now _Cower_ And _Die_ ," Palpatine enunciates with the tone of a judge imposing the ultimate sentence, at least before his lips curl up wide under his gleaming yellowish-red eyes in an ear to ear grin exposing his yellow teeth as the Force Lightning becomes impossibly more intense, " _Die_ In _Agony_ As Your Soul Is Extinguished! Under The _Might! Of UNNNLIMITEEED! **POWEEEEEERRRR!**_ "

"Hmph. The fool played his part well," Cinder can't help but admit before cocking a brow at the second Servant who merely glances at his Master crying out in torturous pain before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Y'know, I'll admit this twist actually comes at a bit of a rude shock to me," Deadpool acquiesces in what may be as close as he'll ever get to admitting he's part of a less than mediocre plot line, whether it's true or not, "Kinda like finding a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM, or like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00PM instead of 7:30."

...or not.

"I shouldn't have expected anything more," Cinder huffs at the Assassin as Raven's body is still pinned against the door behind her, the Maiden herself convulsing under the sheer amounts of electricity - but also unwittingly commencing the unlocking process of the door itself, "Ready to _die_ , insect-?"

" _Upupup! I wasn't finished!_ " Deadpool suddenly interrupts with a raised finger, subtly taking the opportunity to shimmy a few steps to the right as he continues, "Tell you what. I'm gonna level with you, Cinder. You're not half bad... but when _I'm_ around, you'll always be _second_ best, see?"

"Oh?" Cinder replies with a vaguely amused cocked brow, Deadpool's motions making her instinctively circle a bit in the same direction... just as he anticipated, "How so? Once your 'Master' dies, I'll have the power I desire, and you'll fall soon after~"

"Well. Unique forms of comic relief aside," Deadpool retorts calmly, picking up his second katana and tossing it in the air to catch it in a reverse grip, "There's _one_ advantage of fourth-wall breaking that even having all _four_ of the Maiden powers housed in your lusciously beddable half-human body couldn't hope to match, and that's..."

Cinder's self assured smirk finally dropping as she realizes that Deadpool's apparent pause for dramatic effect was him staring expectantly at something _behind_ her, Cinder turns to see none other than Vernal weakly holding up her pistol right at the enchantress.

"... _Foresight_."

 _ **BLAM!-krzzt**_

" _Swish!_ " Deadpool gleefully cries out as he dashes at the injured Maiden whose Aura has finally been zeroed out by the bullet fired at point blank range, the sound of metal slicing through flesh causing the fire in Cinder's eyes to go out as Deadpool merely sets up his second katana for a follow up strike.

" _Stab!_ "

Raven's eyes suddenly snapping open despite the tendrils of electricity running up and down her body, she falls to the ground as the doors open behind her but unwilling to let the faltering of Sidious' attack go to waste.

"Aaaaaaand, _**Sparta Kick!**_ " Deadpool finally cries out, straight-kicking the dying woman off the edge of the bridge right as Raven lifts Sidious over her head with an enraged yell and tosses him over the same side behind his dying Master.

" _NOOOOOO! NOT AGAIIIIIIN!_ "

Master and Servant, both clad in red and black, are huffing and puffing as they each look over the edge of the abyss before Raven finally stands up straight and directs herself at the strange assassin beside her with a blank expression.

"'Not Again?'"

"Ohhhhh, honey. That's a six-episode story that neither _I_ nor _El Sribe-O_ are being paid enough to tell here," Deadpool replies coolly, scratching his head as his mouth is (forced) to add, "I mean... _ugh_... unless there were say... a _Kickstarter_... or ... _set up_... to help _fund_ his return... to fanfiction... ack, _done! Ya Happy!?_ "

And finally letting curiosity get the best of her as her eyes try and trace her Servant's line of sight going upwards for the umpteenth time, Raven asks, "Who are you talking t-"

 _ **KRAKRAKRA-BLAM!**_

But suddenly interrupted by a large mass clearly going _through_ the cavern walls, both are startled- "Not _me_ , bub. I see what you did there, sealing the fourth wall, eh?" (ugh) to see a yellow metallic mass clearly beyond repair crash onto the bridge to the now completely open relic door.

Turning its head to a slightly confused but otherwise unfazed Raven, the robot ekes out a voice of a mid-century novel reader with heavy static through its radio a final time, _'It is a far, far better thing that I do,' **kkk kzzt** 'th-than I have ever done; it is a far, far-' **wr-wr-wr...** 'better rest that I go to...' **krk...** 'than I have ever knowwwwwn-n-n-n...'_

 _ **CLACK**_

Deadpool merely kicks the now-deceased robot in the head as he struts over to Raven's side, "Huh. The only thing crazier than having Bumblebee in a RWBY fanfic is probably the fact that there are still Transformers movies being _made_."

"I'm... not even gonna ask anymore," Raven drawls with the same blank expression before staring up at the hole and adding, "Let's just head back up there and kill whatever's causing the fuss before returning..."

"Soooo... you're _not_ gonna pick up the relic first?" Deadpool asks knowingly, his Master turning back to him only to find him fiddling with flaps on Bumblebee's chest plate, "Could be bad for the plot."

"You really think the elevator is still working after that?" Raven retorts smugly, about to shift into bird form before pausing to ask a final question.

"But... how are _you_ going to get back to the surface?"

"Meh, don't mind _me_ ," he replies before pulling out the bumblebee ornament with the BEE-YOTCH sticker that was hanging from its rear-view mirror with a happy exclamation before standing up and stashing the ornament in his side pouch, "The author's just gonna end the chapter here, and when the next one starts, _poof!_ I'll be up at the surface! Classic plot hole cop-out."

Raven simply blinks once at her Servant before ending the pregnant pause with a shake of her head and shifting into bird form to fly out of the cavern, leaving a newly bored Deadpool behind who simply takes a seat on the floor and starts poking at Vernal's womanly areas while humming Duel of the Fates.

 ** _TO BE CONTINUED, IN THE FINAL CHAPTER..._**

* * *

 **A/N:** Aaaand, two of three, _finito_.

This was actually more fun to write than it should've been. Peace out folks,

 _ **And Happy Reading!**_


End file.
